Terms & Conditions

You are certainly welcome to read through this whole thing and confirm for yourself that it’s pretty standard stuff like what iTunes and most porn sites use, OR you can review, word for word, the following terms and conditions (‘Terms of Use’) that govern your use and purchase of products (collectively, ‘Use’) of Singani63.com (collectively, ‘our Site’), you shouldn’t even assume we’ve read this thing from beginning to end. BUT your Use of our Site constitutes your agreement to follow and be bound by the Terms of Use. So this is like a totally binding agreement like the kind lawyers and shit use. Think of it as OUR HOUSE, OUR RULES.

General

Please review the following terms and conditions (‘Terms of Use’) and our other policies that govern your visit to our Site (‘Use’). Your Use of our Site constitutes your acceptance of, and agreement to follow and be bound by, such policies and by the Terms of Use. Singani 63, Inc. reserves the right, at any time, to modify, alter or update our Site, policies and these Terms of Use, without even talking to you or the horse you rode in on.

Site Contents

Unless otherwise noted (which has yet to happen, ever), the design of the Site, the Site as a whole (or a hole, for that matter), and all materials that are part of the Site (collectively, ‘Contents’) are copyrights, trademarks, trade dress or other intellectual properties owned, controlled or licensed by Singani 63, Inc. or its subsidiaries and affiliates.

Comments, Feedback and Other Submissions

We sort of welcome your comments and feedback regarding our Site, our products and our services, because we have to. We do not, however, accept confidential or proprietary information, because it could get us into trouble. The legal kind. Accordingly, all comments, feedback, ideas, suggestions, materials, information, concepts, know-how, techniques, and other submissions disclosed, submitted or offered to Singani 63, Inc. using this Site or otherwise (collectively, ‘Comments’) are not confidential and will become and remain Singani 63′s property. Okay, this time in English: We can use any shit you send to this site, however and wherever we want to. Seriously, we can chop it up and bounce it off satellites or wild post it or whatever, throughout the KNOWN UNIVERSE. Not only that, our “affiliates” can use your shit too, and some of these people are…well, let’s just say they’re untethered by social norms. We’ll say it again, because you seem like the kind of person who is reading this because you might try some shit: The disclosure, submission, or offer of any Comments will constitute an assignment to Singani 63, Inc. of all worldwide rights, titles and interests and goodwill in the Comments without payment of any compensation (if this seems like a really good deal for us, that’s because it is). Singani 63 cannot prevent the ”harvesting” of information from this Site, and you may be contacted by Singani 63 or unrelated third parties, by email or otherwise, within or outside of this site. Comments submitted by you must not violate any right of any third party, and must not contain any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, or profane material or any material that could constitute or encourage conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, or otherwise violate the law (this is known as our NOT COOL/NO ASSHOLE RULE). And just because Singani 63 may from time to time monitor or review discussions, chats, postings, transmissions, bulletin boards, and the like on the Site, that doesn’t mean Singani 63 is under any obligation to do so and assumes no responsibility or liability arising from the content of any such locations nor for any error, defamation, libel, slander, omission, falsehood, obscenity, pornography, profanity, danger, or inaccuracy contained in any information within such locations on the Site. So we’re basically absolved/indemnified from anything you do while you’re here, visiting us IN OUR HOUSE. You’ve probably figured out by now Singani 63 assumes no responsibility or liability for any actions or communications by you or any unrelated third party within or outside of this site, mostly because we have actual lives we’re trying to live. But wait, it gets worse: Singani 63 will fully out your ass to the authorities if we’re asked to. That’s right. So don’t go thinking you’re Daniel Ellsberg or some shit. We have a business to run. The Contents are intended solely for your personal, noncommercial use. Music may not be copied except only as necessary to access the Site. You may copy other Contents displayed on the Site for your personal, noncommercial use only (you should know we have real trust issues). No right, title or interest in any Contents is granted or transferred to you as a result of any such copying. Except as noted above, you may not reproduce, publish, transmit, distribute, display, modify, create derivative works from, sell or participate in any sale of, or exploit in any way, any of the Contents or the Site (but some of you will anyway, probably). Unauthorized use of the Contents is expressly prohibited by law, and may result in severe civil and criminal penalties. You might want to look up the word SEVERE, if you’re thinking about screwing with us.

Links to Other Websites and Services

This Site may include links to other Internet sites maintained by third parties (‘Linked Sites’). Singani 63, Inc. provides Linked Sites to you solely as a convenience (you’re welcome), and the inclusion of Linked Sites does not imply endorsement by Singani 63, Inc. of the Linked Sites, so don’t even go there. You access Linked Sites at your own risk and by accessing them you leave the Singani 63, Inc. Site (b’bye!). Linked Sites are not under the control of Singani 63, Inc. and Singani 63, Inc. is not responsible for the contents of any Linked Site. Likewise, descriptions of, or references to, products, publications or sites not owned by Singani 63 or its affiliates do not imply endorsement of that product, publication or site. Basically, nothing is our fault. Ever.

Disclaimer, Limitation of Liability and Indemnity

This is in all caps for a reason, so imagine someone reading it real loud:
EXCEPT AS OTHERWISE EXPRESSLY PROVIDED, THIS SITE, ALL CONTENTS AND ALL PRODUCTS AND SERVICES ARE PROVIDED ON AN ‘AS IS’ BASIS. SINGANI 63, INC. DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY (is this a word?), FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE., NON-INFRINGEMENT, OR ACCURACY. SINGANI 63, INC. DOES NOT WARRANT THAT YOUR USE OF THIS SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR FREE (no shit), THAT ANY DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED, THAT YOUR USE OF THE SITE WILL PROVIDE SPECIFIC RESULTS, OR THAT THIS SITE OR ITS SERVER ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL ELEMENTS THAT MAY AFFECT YOUR COMPUTER EQUIPMENT, SOFTWARE, DATA OR OTHER PROPERTY ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR ACCESS TO, USE OF, OR BROWSING IN THE SITE OR YOUR DOWNLOADING OF ANY MATERIALS, TEXT, IMAGES, VIDEO OR AUDIO FROM THE SITE OR ANY LINKED SITES (though we do wear gloves when handling merchandise). ALTHOUGH SINGANI 63, INC. ENDEAVORS TO PROVIDE ACCURATE INFORMATION, IT DOES NOT WARRANT OR MAKE ANY REPRESENTATIONS REGARDING THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF INFORMATION ON THIS SITE (“best efforts”, lads). YOUR USE OF THE SITE IS AT YOUR OWN RISK (you may want to read that sentence again). NEITHER SINGANI 63, INC. NOR ITS AFFILIATED OR RELATED ENTITIES OR ITS VENDORS OR CONTENT PROVIDERS SHALL BE LIABLE TO ANY PERSON OR ENTITY FOR ANY DIRECT OR INDIRECT LOSS, DAMAGE (WHETHER ACTUAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE, SPECIAL OR OTHERWISE), INJURY, CLAIM, OR LIABILITY OF ANY KIND OR CHARACTER WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING LOST PROFITS, WHETHER OR NOT ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES, BASED UPON OR RESULTING FROM YOUR USE OR INABILITY TO USE THIS SITE, OR ANY INFORMATION OR MATERIALS PROVIDED ON THE SITE (wow. that kind of gives us like TOTAL power over you). SINGANI 63, INC. IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF ANY USER. IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH THE SITE OR ANY MATERIALS ON THE SITE, OR WITH ANY OF SINGANI 63′S TERMS OF USE, YOUR SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE REMEDY IS TO DISCONTINUE USING THE SITE (well, I guess you could write shitty tweets about us or something. but we have a lot of time on our hands and might tweet your ass right back). YOU AGREE TO INDEMNIFY, DEFEND AND HOLD HARMLESS SINGANI 63, INC., ITS SHAREHOLDERS, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, DISTRIBUTORS, VENDORS, AFFILIATES, PARENTS, STEP-PARENTS, LACKEYS, SUBSIDIARIES, AND SERVICE PROVIDERS FROM AND AGAINST ANY AND ALL THIRD PARTY CLAIMS, DEMANDS, LIABILITIES, COSTS OR EXPENSES, INCLUDING REASONABLE ATTORNEYS’ FEES, RESULTING OR ARISING OUT OF YOUR BREACH OF ANY OF THESE TERMS OF USE (this makes us sound a lot bigger than we actually are).
Certain laws do not allow limitations on implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain damages; if these laws apply to you, some or all of the above disclaimers may not apply, and you might have additional rights. And if that makes sense to you, you probably write shit like this for a living.

Denial of Access

Think of this as the NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE clause. Basically, these Terms of Use constitute an agreement that is effective unless and until terminated with extreme prejudice by Singani 63, Inc. If in Singani 63, Inc.’s sole discretion you fail to comply with any term or provision of this agreement, Singani 63, Inc. may totally deny you access to the Site, without notice to you, and without liability to you or any third party. Can you imagine? If this happens, you are no longer authorized to access the Site, and the restrictions imposed upon you with respect to material copied or downloaded, and the disclaimers and limitations of liabilities set forth in these Terms of Use, shall continue in force, and we mean like gale wind force, brother. These Terms of Use constitute the entire agreement between you and Singani 63, Inc. relating to the subject matter addressed herein. Console yourself with the fact our relationship isn’t physical.

Permitted Users of this Site

This Site is intended to be used and accessed by people who are of legal age to purchase and consume alcohol. If you are of legal age in your country of residence and the country from which you are accessing this Site, please continue. If you are not, please exit this site immediately, or something weird may happen to you. Like an accident. It’s possible.

Applicable Law

The law applicable to the interpretation and construction of these Terms of Use and any transaction using or related to the Site, shall be the laws of the State of New York, USA without regard to principles of conflict of laws (okay, that actually makes no sense, in our opinion. But it’s in there anyway). You agree that all matters relating to your access to or use of the Site, including all disputes, will be governed by the laws of the United States and by the laws of the State of New York. All proceedings relating to the Site, these Terms of Use, or any transaction, including the sale of any products, using this Site, shall be brought only in the state or federal courts of New York, New York, USA, and you and Singani 63, Inc. do hereby consent to the jurisdiction and venue of such courts. Notwithstanding the foregoing (which means you just read that paragraph for nothing), this site may be viewed internationally and may contain references to products or services not available in all countries. References to a particular product or services do not imply that they are appropriate or available to all persons of legal purchasing age in all locations, or that Singani 63 intends to make such products or services available in such countries (that’s why it’s called a “reference”, dig?). Any offer for any product, feature, service or Application made on this Site is void where prohibited. Although we will use all reasonable efforts to safeguard the confidentiality of any personal information collected, we will not be liable for disclosure of personal information obtained due to errors in transmission or the unauthorized acts of third parties, because we just won’t. We can’t even afford that thing where you have to hit I AGREE.